Blue October says it best....

What I wanna say, I cannot find the best words but thankfully my rockstar "boyfriend" Justin Furstenfeld says it best in his song "Should be Loved". (Blue October is the best EVER!!)

********
Stop staring, you're the reason
I feel so unhappy all the time.
I've given you everything
I know how.
You're standing on
the top of my shoe
keeping me from gaining ground.
I'm sorry if you
feel like I let you down.

Can you tell me
what have I done so wrong...to you?
Tell me what am I supposed to do.

I should be loved by you,
that I know is true.
But I can't breathe when you're around!

I should be held at night,
that I know is right.
But I can't breathe when you're around!

You're too scared, scared of it all...
I get that feeling I'm talking to the wall.
Can you hear me at all?
My world was shaking
my mind was quaking,
my heart kept breaking
I threw it against the wall.
Can anyone feel me at all?

Can you tell me
what have I done so wrong... to you?
Tell me what am I supposed to do.
I got a feeling,
you're falling out of love with me.
Tell me who am I supposed to be?

I should be loved by you,
that I know is true.
I can't breathe when you're around!

I should be held
How I should be held.
But I can't breathe when you're around!!
Look I can't breathe!

A long overdue trip to the blog-o-sphere.

So it's been pointed out that I have not blogged in forever. I feel like there is so little and so much to write all at the same time...

My knee has been healing very well. I am walking without aid of a cane or anything (although I have a rocking cane! It is Lucite and often described as "pimping"). I still seem to have a limp, which I try really hard to not have and it's under control unless I am walking fast - not that that happens often - or have been holding my leg bent/straight/still for too long. I am getting stronger at work and can work more than 1 or 2 days in a row without needing to sleep for 3 days to recover. I am also standing for much longer periods of time, I have a stool at work but we've been so crazy busy I haven't been able to use it as much and am handling it pretty well - even Wednesday when I stayed for almost 2 hours after closing trying to get things finished up so I didn't feel bad leaving too much for April to do the next day. It's still hard day-to-day but I know that I am improving and really finally feel like a real full-functioning person again.

Lots of crazy things have been happening with the family: Nikki was laid off at work 2 weeks ago and it has been really hard on her. She was pretty much laid off because her boss decided that she "couldn't work" with Nikki (my personal theory is that Nikki had too many original ideas which intimidated her mediocre *at best* boss). I think the thing that was hardest for Nikki is that none of upper-management supported her, even though she has given her life (usually 60+ hours a week) to them for the last 4 years - this new person came in and wanted her out they just rolled over and let her treat Nikki like crap. I would write more of my feelings here but Nikki will probably be upset I've said so much on something that is publicly visible, but I should get to state my opinion since they have let everyone else put in their 2 cents (as long as it was against Nikki). Nikki just wants to let it go, learn all she can from this betrayal and go on with her life; which she'll be able to do. However her family and loved ones will have a very hard time understanding or forgetting about what has been done to such an amazing woman.

My brother-in-law, Travas, has finally been released to job retraining since he's been on L&I for so long, they have finally accepted how screwed up his back is. Due to the retraining starting in the fall, the Walker family is gonna spend some time in Southern Utah, visiting family and showing the kids where we all came from. I am excited for them but very sad to lose the random visits we get from the kids (and seeing the parents too of course). I love living a block away from them, the kids stop by if they are near our place or if they have something they wanna show us. There are no words to describe how much a hug from one of my favorite kids can fix. Trust me: when you've had a bad day, one of their "ride by huggings" can improve your outlook on life so much!

My brother Travis is also out of work right now due to injury. He needs surgery on his arm due to damage from a car accident. The surgeries are called pronator and supinator release - ya, he needs it on both sides of his forearm. He also has carpel tunnel in his elbow (all in his right arm) and it looks like he needs surgery there too. Poor guy, we get to keep him after all the cancer problems and then his body just breaks down. He's a super tough guy, and it's a good thing he is. His family is doing pretty good, his girls are super active as ever, we even got to go see Alex play a wolf and a dancing fork in her Middle School's production of Beauty and the Beast (Disney's version).

My Daddy is still working, at least until this job is finished, though their hours have been cut back. So with him and me (who'll soon be back full time) working we have a total of 2 people working in my whole family, although Cassie works a couple of days at a chiropractor's office and Adam works occasional shifts doing game testing. There is money still coming in for everybody, but it certainly is a scary time in this world.

There have been some great times too: spending time with family and friends is my favorite thing, and though I haven't been able to do it much it is always the happiest times. I have also been enjoying a lot of music (and expanding horizons when it comes to some music). There is a local band that I have mentioned on here before, Man Without Wax, that I adore! In the last few weeks, I have seen them perform twice (I sadly missed one of their concerts). I hope to see them more this summer...

This Tuesday I will be seeing Rent (with Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp!!), in a couple of weeks, we're gonna see No Doubt, with Paramour opening for them. We also have tickets to see New Kids on the Block (I know you're jealous!), that same night is the American Idol concert that Mom and Dad are going to and I'm totally sad that I'll miss it, especially seeing my adorable parents at it. I have bought tickets to see Blue October when they are here the end of July, and (I don't care if you call me a square) the tickets are on the balcony at the Moore theatre because I am not a "mosh pit person" even if I wasn't still recovering from a broken knee! I also have tickets to see Wicked when it is here in September (I bought 15 tickets and a few are still unclaimed...). And of course the most exciting thing is the 3rd annual Stephenie Meyer Day in Forks September 13th (Bella's birthday, duh!) I will be going for the 3rd year in a row, it'll be my 5th trip out there, unless I go out there earlier to prove that I am no longer scared of the waves. Hehehe.

I guess if I don't have the Percocet to encourage my blogging I guess my being up in the middle of the night can also help it... I could talk all night but I'm sure most of you haven't held on for this long as it is, so I'll just do more later (hopefully). I love you all, goodnight! <3

Insomnia

I'm sooo tired, but only during the day. I have been struggling to get any sleep the last few weeks, as I have been getting more into habits of regular life again it is not improving the way that I had hoped it would. Being so sick Monday didn't help, though it makes me see how awesome Nikki is. She took care of me and cleaned up after me when I was sick all over.

There are times when I forget how lucky I am, but it doesn't take much to remind me how much I have in my life. My parents are such incredibly amazing people, my family is so great and they have taken such good care of me my whole life, more more recently through my whole rehabilitation process since my accident last December. I also have amazing friends and coworkers, so many amazing people in my life, I don't know what I have done to ever deserve so much but I am very greatful for the amazing gifts that I have been given in this life.

I love you all. G'night! (Hopefully)

Happy anniversary She-La!

Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of when I bought my beautiful, amazing pickup truck. Her name is She-La (Like She-Ra: Princess of Power; pronounced like Sheila, the Aussie slang for woman - I'm such a geek!), and she is the greatest truck in the world. I have missed her a lot since my accident, which has diminished my driving abilities, but not my love for my amazing truck. I love that she's large but not too big, I can get in with use of my running board but without wishing for a ladder to help me out. (I even can get in with use of my crutches and a lot of arm strength.)

So happy anniversary my dear truck, Mommy loves you!

Favorite quotes from a loooong week

Here are some of the comments made by me or others about me this week in reference to my, er, chemically altered state due to pain medication after surgery - these aren't going to be funny to anyone else, since you are either not altered by chemicals/lack of sleep or might not know the back story (but trust me - I'm hilarious!):

• "What would you do with a drunken sailor?" (Sung to Travis by me"), "what would YOU do with a drunken sailor?" (Travis back to me), "Feed him pancakes! I learned that's a good hangover food from the Gilmore Girls." (Sadly this was my response)
• "Hey Erin, have your crazy pills worn off yet?" (My niece Tiara when seeing me again hours after I tried to tell her about a strange dream I'd had the previous night)
• (Said while looking at my hands) "I need a pedicure!"
• "Wooo! Spinny-winny!" (pretty much each time I stood up)
• Mom said that if she left me alone at night I'd decide I was a rooster and climb on top of the roof. My response: "I'd go and crow at Travis's window, he deserves it!"
• There are plenty of others that I for some reason that I cannot remember. :) However I have been composing more music, songs about how yummy cucumbers with salt are, there's a cat looking in the back door at me, etc.

It's been kinda a rough week, I've been very frustrated with how much pain I'm still in and therefore how much of these hated pain pills I still need to take. My doctor's appointment went well though I did get a lecture about taking my pills because my body can't heal properly when it's in too much pain. I'm not sure that I'm gonna be better as quickly as I was hoping but I'm still holding out hope. My PTSD had been getting better but it somewhat came back as well this week. Plus I realized that I was too busy with worrying about the surgery to celebrate Taylor Lautner's 17th birthday that was on the 11th-the day of my surgery (So happy birthday my dear little jail bait). I did have one day when I got to have some retail therapy, buying some things I needed to buy, and then a couple other little things myself, the retail therapy was unfortunately online, but better than nothing!

Nikki did take a day off work to come and hang with me, it was so nice to see her. It's definitely been hard not seeing her every day, we've lived together for so long that we're so close, it's strange to be apart for any length of time. She's so great, it was nice to see her and just be with her for a bit, I think I really needed that.

Today has been much better; I've stayed awake and coherent a lot longer today than I have since the surgery and I even got to play a game I got for the Wii called Endless Ocean - it was really fun! I do have a bunch of fun pictures from the last week and a half (most of them fuzzy since taken from my phone) that I plan on posting soon. Soon I'll get the pain under control, get physical therapy to fit me in and convince my doctor I can go back to work before the end of March! (I'm not waiting that long, I'll go nuts and I can't do that to my work!)

Love to all.

(I figured out how to do hyperlinks in case you hadn't noticed! Weeee)

Hello from the grasp of the torture device!

So I just finished my 10th hour in the torture device, aka CPM, aka that thingy that moves my knee all day! (The last 5 minutes there was a song about "5 more minutes!") The days are interesting when you are essentially sequestered to one spot for 10 to 12 hours every day. I have apparently been particularly crazy today; maybe it's cabin fever, maybe it's just the pain and the meds are cutting down all my barriers that normally keep the crazy in, who knows. Adam found The Transporter on TV (it was almost as exciting as finding the Goofy Movie on TV, but I made sure that I didn't forget what we were watching during the commercials), my mom says that I sang through the whole thing - when I wasn't giving her a play by play of what was happening, of course. I thought that there had just been some humming but she says that there were words involved, I wish I remember what I was singing about, I'm sure I could have won awards for my music if anyone had written any of it down. Well it's about time for me to take something to get me through the night so I'd better stop before I decide to share everything... G'night all!

Every thing's great here in LaLa Land!

I just took a Percocet about an hour ago and so the draw to blog is pulling me! So I'll do a quick update and try to stay focused and on task: (no promises though)

I had my surgery yesterday and things seem to have gone really well, going into the operating room was so scary, there was this huge table full of torture devices (also known a surgical equipment) and so I just kept my eyes down and then when they had me on the bed I closed my eyes and I think I was out the moment they put the IV in my arm. When I woke up my first thought was "wow that guy's cute", which I think I just thought it but maybe not since he was super nice to me, even more than the female nurses were (and they were all great). It took a while to fully wake up, they gave me a cracker and some water to take a pain pill and I remember telling the lady that it was the best thing I ever tasted! When I was finally awake enough I was wheeled out to my parents (by the cute guy!) and then the nurse and anesthesiologist talked with us one more time then I was wheeled out to my dad's truck while I told the nurse the story of how I'd hurt my knee, I told anyone that would listen yesterday, I also wore my pink "Forks Outfitters" shirt and the shoes I was wearing the day of the accident as a little shout out to what'd happened. :) I know, I'm a nerd!

I am at my parents' place for the next week or so during the most difficult parts of my convalescence, I love being with my parents and they don't seem to mind taking care of me, even when I'm all doped up and super goofy. Speaking of Goofy, The Goofy Movie was on Disney or something last night we saw it was on about half way through and Adam changed to it for me. I was totally enjoying it but am a bit more spacey than normal because I forgot it was on during the commercials so when it came back on I got excited for it all over again!

Today I am very busy lying on my bed while my leg is in a machine that flexes it to get the new ACL (a cadaver Achilles tendon - I'm now part zombie!) stretched out. Today I am at 10% extension and 70% flexion, tomorrow I go down to 0% extension then I get to increase my flextion slowly until I'm at/close to full range of motion. While using the flexing machine I have this really cool pump that continuously brings ice water to a fancy covering on my leg, it feels really nice and soothing on my poor little confused leg. Most people know how stubborn and control freaky I am, and it has been so difficult to not fight against this machine but I'm getting much better, I even am able to ask people to get me things. It's taken 2 months (yesterday was day 60 since "the accident") but I have finally let go of some of my stubborn tendencies and will now let people help me without getting too frustrated with myself for not being able to do it all myself.

Wednesday

So I'm tired and I'm terrified but I am also so excited to get this finally over with! This weekend I've gotten the chance to see quite a few of my patients that I hadn't seen yet, so I was able to say hi to them and let them know that I won't be around for almost a month. I have so many amazing patients, I have had so many people wish me luck and even a few tell me that they'll be praying for me on Wednesday. How did I get so lucky to have all these amazing people in my life.

I got to spend this evening up at my parent's place, we were celebrating Mom's birthday last week with cheesecake and hanging out being the incredibly hilarious people that we are. :) I love my family so much and am taken care of so well that it's amazing. I love them all so much, I couldn't get for a better support system if I personally selected them myself. My parents, my siblings and even my nephew and nieces are so sweet trying to make sure I am always comfortable. I love you guys so much, I am truly blessed!

Update!

(First there is gonna be some exciting updates about my knee and then there is an angry rant you can ignore, but I had to get it off my chest somehow. XOXOXO)

So I went to see Dr. Badger for a second opinion on my knee because my doctor I was seeing made me very mad and Dr. Badger is our family orthopedist (how sad that we have one). He was worried about the break in my knee, the patella was smashed down on one side and he was worried about it so I went and got a CT scan to get a better look at the bone to see if it was gonna need reconstruction to fix it, a big procedure that would lead to 3 months of intense recovery! Thankfully prayers were answered and the break is in the perfect place, where it will not need the reconstruction to be done, not only this but the CT scan showed that the bones are now healed enough to do the surgery on my ACL! I am having the surgery next Wednesday and he says that I can even put some weight on my leg now before the surgery then only a few more weeks of recovery before I should be actually walking again!! I was so happy I started crying right there in the doctor's office.

I have been so worried all week waiting to hear what was gonna happen with my knee, not even wanting to talk about it but now I am so excited to finally be getting a glimpse of the light at the end of this never ending tunnel! Hopefully my work will someday forgive me for all that I have put them through, topping it off with "oh, btw, I know I was supposed to work next Wednesday but instead I'm gonna have surgery and be gone for about 3 weeks, ok?!" I have a couple more shifts before the surgery so I hope I can help make things right and actually get to say goodbye to people (coworkers and patients) before disappearing this time, unlike last time... Good times!

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(Now for the rant, avert your eyes, hide the children - the actually meanest Alldredge sister has something to say!)

There are things going on in my world that I am very angry and frustrated about but I cannot fix (thus making me even more frustrated). These are not injuries to me but to someone that I care dearly about. I cannot go into detail now but rest assured that there will come a time when those doing her wrong will realize that they made a mistake and they will get nothing but laughter and condemnation from me. You can hurt me repeatedly, I have proved over and over in my life that I will forgive you, but woe to anyone that purposefully hurts one of my loved ones! I have no physical capacity or ability to strike someone but that will not stop my angry words when all is said and done.

Stop it, fix it, or we're gonna have a little talk!!

The luckiest nerd-girl in town!

So I got a package delivered today and I am so excited! I found the funnest gift for April, my partner at work, since her birthday was last week. I decided that since I was already ordering something from this site it was finally time to order some stuff for myself from this site as well.

I got my new necklace and earrings. They are both made out of sterling silver and the necklace is in the shape of the serotonin molecule and the earrings are the dopamine molecule. I got April wine glasses that have the chemical structure for ethanol etched into them, they are so awesome! I work with her on Wednesday and can't wait to see what she thinks about them.

For any of my fellow biochem nerd friends that are interested in these awesome items, and many others that are available go to http://www.madewithmolecules.com/ to check it out.

Why I'll never go skiing

So, the most common reaction that I get from strangers (and sometimes patients) when they see my crutches and my leg that I'm obviously not using is: "Skiing." No question mark, just a statement of fact that they are verifying with me. This always brings two questions to mind;

1. Do I really look like the sporty skiing type?!
2. Why would anyone enjoy a sport that has so many knee/leg injuries involved that that is the understood explanation for any injuries during the winter!

It is so commonplace that everyone knows at least a few people that have broken their leg/knee/other important part of their body after attaching one or two strips of wood to their feet and then riding down a steep, icy hill on them. How could you get injured doing that?!

I know that people love skiing but it is obviously not for me. Between my lack of coordination, lack of sportiness, and complete hatred of moving so quickly that you are feeling out of control, I have never been tempted to try this sport and the last month or so has made me very glad of that choice!

I wish good luck and safe skiing/snowboarding to all of my daredevil friends out there and I hope you understand why I will never be joining you! :)

Song lyrics and bands

My top two favorite misunderstood song lyrics:

• All American Rejects' Move Along: Missunderstood as "Mow the Lawn" as in "Mow the lawn, mow the lawn just to make it through!"


• Reba McEntire's Fancy: Missunderstood as "Nancy" as in "I might've been born just plain white trash but Nancy was my name!"

I also really enjoy:

• Shrek the Musical's I Know it's Today's line "There are rules and there are strictures"; Nikki and I both find that we always sing it as: "There are rules and there are scriptures!"

There are many more but these are the ones that are in the front of my mind right now. Does anyone else have a favorite?

Now for some kinda sad news: My favorite band, Man Without Wax, is about to lose their drummer. The tour that they are wrapping up this weekend will be his last stint with them as he will be making some changes in his life that will not be conductive to a tour schedule. I love this band (4 of the 5 guys in the band have been buddies and playing together since they were kids) and I really hope that they will be able to find someone that will be able to take Chip's place, they are starting to get quite the following and they are such awesome guys that I really hope that they are all able to achieve their dreams, whatever they are. Go to: http://www.myspace.com/manwithoutwax to check out my awesome guys. Three of them work for my sister and I'm a bit of a fan girl, it's kinda fun to know someone as an artist and then get to talk to the person while they are at work.

Aren't they the cutest?!!

So if anyone knows any awesome drummer out there who would be able to fill the gap that is about to occur where the second boy on the left is let me know!!

Here we go!

Ok, lets see how long I can last here tonight...

So, I've been feeling pretty well the last few days, since starting physical therapy I have been feeling better, not just my leg but my state of mind as well. It's nice to hear that I really am improving and that the pain that I feel isn't because I'm crazy or never going to heal, it's been nice.

I had an appointment with my physical therapist this morning and it went really well, especially since she let me warm up on a no impact exercise bike, it felt so good, I do actually miss biking a lot. It went well and I grabbed some food on the way home - kinda funny because I realized I couldn't carry it into the house so I sat in my truck and ate my lunch while listening to my "All Shook Up" soundtrack while the puppy stared out the window at me like I was crazy.

Once I finally went inside I was making my way into my awesome makeshift bedroom (a nice blow-up mattress in the kitchen/dining room since I can't climb the ladder into my loft bed), I was pushing a package over to my bed so I could open it. This was comprised of pushing it ahead with my crutch, taking a step or two and then repeating until I reach my desired destination. While doing this I wasn't paying attention and my "pushing crutch" hit the top of the package and slipped out from under me. I stumbled, slamming my right leg down a couple of times before I toppled onto the ottoman; right leg hitting first, of course. I gathered my wits about me and got myself to my bed, where I decided to take a little (or a large) rest.

I have no idea if I have actually further injured my leg, though I highly doubt it, I think that I just aggravated my current injuries that had stopped hurting so much and now they are hurting again, nothing too bad but it's hurting pretty bad which is why I have actually taken a Vicodin tonight, in case you were wondering why this was even more random and packed with insignificant details than normal.

I'm doing ok, I just am pretty proud of my continued lack of coordination and feel really bad about worrying my family so much. But no one needs to worry about me, my pet Betta (named Alpha, btw) is watching me quite closely, keeping an eye on me to make sure I'm ok, my little Alphy will take care of me! :)

-Doped up Dr. Erin signing off!

Emotional basketcase! Who, me?!

So I haven't been able to read any new books the last month or so, my mind just can't seem to concentrate on something new for that long. (Very frustrating!) But those that know me know that I don't like going long without a book in my world so I'm actually listening to one of my favorite books for the 3rd or 4th time right now. It is called "The Host" and it's written by Stephenie Meyer, the genius that brought us the Twilight Saga. I have been having some really bad insomnia problems lately so the book has been helping me a lot, especially at night to get me through the long hours when I wish I was asleep but can't be!

The biggest problem is that not only are my emotions a bit more heightened than normal (and that's saying something, eh?!) but I'm listening to this amazing book with characters that I love so much and are written so well that you truly feel like you know them. There are a lot of emotional situations in these books, and I find that I am crying through the whole thing like an even bigger sap than I normally am! As I look at and fall in love all over again with each character, I find that I can see similarities to people I know (Jamie and my nephew Tanner for example) and that just makes me love them that much more. There are two amazing men in these books that are written like true men out of Stephenie's mind, very lovable, very honorable, and VERY fictional!

I have mentioned before that I think that Stephenie and I would be the best of friends if only she'd lift the restraining order (hopefully everyone knows I'm kidding here!) but one thing that does annoy me about her is how she writes the men in her books, they truly do ruin all other men in the world! There is no man like Jacob Black (Twilight) to be found anywhere (even without the whole "Werewolf" thing), and The Host's Ian and Jared are the same (Ian, *sigh*). They are great men and very real in many ways, but at the same time they are the type of romantic that women wish existed in men these days! I haven't seen anything like them anywhere, the passion and understanding and love that they are capable of is very much a caricature of what women wish men were capable of.

Oh well, I'll never stop reading her books and holding onto the conviction that my own special version of Jacob or Ian is out there somewhere, knowing if I ever do meet him, his lack of being like my dream men will probably be what makes him so great!

There! I tried to leave it on not such a negative note! Love to all! And please know that I'm not always as cynical as I might sound here!

My True American Idols

I've got to spend the last few days up at my parents' house, it is always such a treat. They are the cutest couple as well as the greatest people! I love spending time with them, whether it is playing a board or card game, watching a trivia game show (seriously we're gonna go to New York and take taxis all over until we get on the Cash Cab, we would so clean up with our awesome variety or knowledge bases!), or watching the American Idol tryouts because Mom's boy Jason Castro is gonna be on it with his brother who's trying out (he made it to Hollywood Week btw!), my parents are so much fun.

I often think about what I want in life and it is especially clear to me when I spend time with them. To be able to find someone that you can communicate with so well with, and will love every thing about you, the things that haven't changed since the day that you first met and the new interests that you have developed suddenly very recently. Someone that is your equal and your perfect opposite, your support and love through the good times and the bad. Things don't have to be perfect but they will always be ok when all is said and done.

I am sure that things haven't always been perfect for my parents, they have been together a long time and through a lot of difficult times, the biggest ones probably having to do with raising 5 kids who have all taken our turn at making our parents' life more difficult than it needs to be. I know that I have not been the best person that I can be, working weekends at my pharmacy makes it so that I miss church a lot, more than just my days off, sometimes it becomes seems easier to stay home because I'm not feeling well - usually from not getting enough sleep and the fact my patients love to share whatever bug they are carrying around with me too! It's easy to fall into the habit of treating Sunday like just another day to try to get things done, you then find yourself not praying enough or reading your scriptures.

Each time I decide I'm gonna do better, it lasts a little while and then I get lazy again, that seems to be my biggest problem. But I thankfully always have these two amazing people in my life that remind me just how worth it everything is, If I ever have a chance for a portion of the amazing life that they have it's worth it. I love my parents so much they are my heroes, my idols and my best friends. I don't know what I did to get so lucky to be their daughter but I am eternally grateful for them.

-Mike and Cindy's incredibly lucky daughter

But I want to!!

Things I'm wanting to do really bad right now because I can't! (Due to the whole having to be on crutches thing)

1. Get a pedicure - I probably could but my right leg couldn't get the whole massage that's included in the pedicure and that just sounds wasteful!
2. Get a massage - see above
3. Go to a spa - again see above!
4. Go bike riding - it used to be my favorite thing to do, I even have a really nice bike, of course I want to take it up again when I can't!
5. Walk!
6. Clean the house! - It's been a long time coming and now that I have extra time at home, it's kinda difficult to carry things around to their proper places.
7. Ride a horse - So I could probably find a way to do this if I had a horse available, but alas, I do not.
8. Climb stairs - Again, something that I can kinda do but I've already fallen some stairs once due to the crutches and I'm not in a hurry to repeat that adventure.
9. Skip
10. Go rock climbing
11. Go repelling
12. Go to Disneyland/Disneyworld! - Probably not helping myself by spending time on Disney's website and watching shows about how awesome Disney is.

Woe is me!!

A list of ideas

So it's another week until round 2 of trying to return to work. I am at my parent's house hanging out with my great family right now. I am spending time online, enjoying it since my internet is down at my house right now, and it's not like I am really mobile enough to do much to fix it. Oh well.

So I've been trying to come up with what I'm gonna do while I'm not working... I'm not sure how much time I really am gonna have but I have some interesting ideas:

1. Lay around reading all day
2. Lay around surfing facebook, etc. all day
3. Lay around watching tv all day
4. Doing a combination of options 1-3
5. Write the next great American novel
6. Become fluent in Quileute and Hindi
7. See how many pharmacy specialties I can get trained in
8. Become a world renowned painter
9. Take up weight lifting and join a body building competition
10. Cyberstock my Stephenie Meyer until she realizes we're meant to be BFFs
11. Become the next American Idol
12. Find my way to Pixie Hollow

I think that if I do any of these it'll probably be learn Quileute. Come on, who's really surprised?! Nobody? Or maybe the one about Stephenie Meyer, you know we're practically the same person except for how she's smart and creative and famous worldwide, otherwise it's like looking in a mirror.

Erin's Excellent LaPush Adventure!

Hello to all! I guess it's time to actually post something here! I do certainly have a story to share:

Most people that know me know that I am obsessed with the Twilight books, and just about anything to do with these people. My first trip to visit Forks and La Push (the places these books are set) was Sept 13th, 2007 with my mom for the first Stephenie Meyer day - this is also the main character Bella's birthday. I then went again on my own for a weekend in the spring of 2008. I then took 4 family members with me to the second Stephenie Meyer day. I decided to take my fourth trip there on my weekend off in December to bring 2 of my friends to visit my favorite place in the world.

Whenever I visit Forks and La Push I always stay at the Oceanside Resort in La Push, the cabins and other places to stay there are right on First Beach. Amazing views, and a short walk to the beach are just some of the selling points of the Oceanside Resort.

This trip was my birthday present to Windy and we were lucky enough to have our awesome friend, and fellow Twilighter, Erica join us. There was a storm coming in but we really didn't want this storm to upset our trip, there was snow that was gonna come later but when we got out there the biggest problem was the wind. That night we went out during low tide and enjoyed the blowing sand and the waves in the dark, it was beautiful and amazing!

The next morning (Saturday, December 13th) was spent on and off on the beach watching and marveling at the huge, amazing waves. Windy decided she wanted to go down and put her feet in the water. The waves seemed to not be coming all that high anymore (anywhere from 30-50 feet down the beach from us). I decided to go and join her, I took off my shoes and socks and rolled up my jeans...

Windy and I were about to head down to the water, Erica was getting ready to take a video of us when a huge wave came all the way up to where we were standing, about 10-15 feet higher up the beach than any of the others all morning. The wave knocked both Windy and me down, it then threw a full tree sized driftwood on top of me, injuring my right leg.


(The video Erica Shot while running away)

My friends had to help carry me at least 50 yards back to our cabin over rocks, bushes and driftwood. I then had my friend go to the store to call for an ambulance (no cell service there) but the local reservation policeman came and offered to drive me to the ER for free. It was kinda fun in a strange kinda way. I got to the ER and the x-rays were inconclusive but it looked like I'd cracked the top edge of my tibia so they put me in a knee stabilizer and gave me some crutches and told me good luck. Windy then had to drive my truck around town and back to our cabin in the snow that started as we left the ER. The next day she also had to drive the 4+ hours home.

When I got the results from my MRI back, it turned out that and I have torn my ACL and injured at least 2 other ligaments, I have a small fracture and depression on the top of my tibia, and all around the top of the tibia and fibula there are small cracks! I can't put any weight on my right leg for 12 weeks and I need to heal the bones up a little more before they drill into them to repair the ligaments! It looks like the bones will need to heal more before the surgery, my next follow-up with the doctor is in February and hopefully I'll be doing well enough to schedule the surgery soon after.

I am healing slowly but surely, it is frustrating to have to be the one being taken care of instead of the other way around. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends that were willing to give up their vacation to take care of their injured friend, especially one that is so unwilling to be taken care of.

Love to all, the plan is to post more later, and not just about my knee, there is more to me than this stupid injury.

-Dr. Erin